I hope you’re well today. I wanted to take a moment to follow up my last blog entry – I’ve been receiving messages from people pretty much every day, and many of you had a lot of kind words and support to offer. I want to thank you once again for allowing me to share that terrible experience without judgment – It gave me a sense of closure that I didn’t know I had needed.
I also have been receiving a lot of messages from people who are concerned for my wellbeing – I want to make it clear that I am in a very good place right now, I have healed in so many ways and I no longer feel consumed by sadness. It has been a journey to get here, but I feel elevated, I feel ready for the world and most of all I feel loved.
Originally I had wanted to follow up my last entry with a post focusing on healing from trauma, but I’ve decided against it. The way traumatic events affect our bodies is so complex, and everyone processes information differently. This also means we all heal differently, and I think it would be wrong to assume that there is one sure-fire way to heal from bad things that happen to us.
But at the same time, I want it to be known that it IS possible to heal after trauma. There’s this belief that once something happens to you, especially a sexual assault, that you will reel from it forever. If you’ve ever been hurt in this way then I want you to know that it doesn’t have to control you forever, that you do have power to persevere, and that there is love and kindness in this world for you.
There are a few things that I DO think were very helpful to me in my process of healing, though – one of those things is meditation. When we go through a traumatic event it is so disorienting, we lose ourselves and our sense of safety. I felt very fragmented after enduring a lot of abuse in my life but meditation has helped me to keep myself stable and centered. I have prioritized meditating every single day and it has healed me. Another thing that I find to be important is spending time in nature – I have been lucky to have grown up in Colorado, and now I live in a farming town in the Pacific NW so it isn’t difficult to get out there. But I have found that when I feel most unheard, my answer is to spend time in nature. Our earth is constantly speaking to us, and if you just stop and listen, she will guide you.
It’s also important to have a very patient and loving support system – I am a true believer that love heals all wounds. We often don’t have support when we are hurt, and this leads to so much suffering. A lot of people also opened up to me that they went through similar events, and I’m sure there are many others out there who have been hurt. But I want you to know that I am here for you, just the way so many people have been there for me. And I truly do love you.
With that being said, opening up about what happened to me has opened so many doors within my mind. I no longer have any heaviness interfering with my creativity! And so I have been going through a very transitional period. I threw my schedule to the wind and I’ve been having so much fun creating art! I have so many ideas to express, and I have entirely changed the way I do my script, the way I plan, even the way I draw.
Everything is flowing so fucking amazing right now you guys, I can’t stop creating. I feel like I’ve really found my tempo, and I have “let go of my training wheels!” What I mean by that is I’m at a point where I’m not even thinking about my process or calculating too much about how to execute my work, I’m just letting it happen. I feel a new sense of confidence and direction of where to go. It’s hard to even stop working – but luckily, my hubby is good at letting me know when it’s time to take a break lol. Life is balanced for me, and for the first time in my 27 years being alive, I feel a sense of “home.”
I want to continue to give back to the community, and I want to continue to help people with my work. I said this before but I really want to also think of ways that we can offer better protection and guidance to young indie artists – we get taken advantage of in so many ways, so it’s important to be savvy. I hope this blog is a good start for that, and while I’m no expert I hope that my anecdotes of my own journey are helping other people.
I have a lot of plans for the next few months of the year, and I can’t wait to share what I’m working on. I’m wishing everyone the best, and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week!
Much love to you,